The game that has no rules
Me: Hi! I'd like to apply for a credit card please. I have a few already but I'd like this one too.
Creditors: Sure! Let me just check that for you.
Creditors: Looks like we can offer you a £5,000 limit!
Me: Great, thanks!
Creditors: Here's your card :)
Me: I think I'll spend around £3,000 on thi-
Creditors: Why would you do that?
Me: What?
Creditors: Don't do that.
Me: Why?
Creditors: Doing that will affect your credit score.
Me: Why would using credit I've been given affect my credit score?
Creditors: Because your utilisation ratio would be too high.
Me: Uh, okay. So should I apply for more credit to help the ratio come down?
Creditors: Don't do that.
Me: But you said-
Creditors: Doing that will affect your credit score.
Me: Why?
Creditors: Because then you'll have too much unused credit.
Me: Right... I'll only spend a small amount on this card then.
Creditors: Don't do that.
Me: Seriousl-
Creditors: Doing that will affect your credit score.
Me: Why?!
Creditors: Because then you'll have too much unused credit.
Me: Okay, I'll cancel my other cards, and spend the same as I used to on those on this one.
Creditors: Don't do that.
Me: Fu-
Creditors: Doing that will affect your credit score.
Me: I can't wait to hear why.
Creditors: Because then you'll have a low overall credit limit.
Me: So, can I get this straight?
Creditors: Sure!
Me: If I have a low credit limit, that's bad?
Creditors: Yes.
Me: If I have a high credit limit, that's bad?
Creditors: Yes.
Me: If I have low credit utilisation, that's bad?
Creditors: Yes
Me: If I have high credit utilisation, that's bad?
Creditors: Yes
Me: Is there any way of knowing the actual rules to satisfy your requirements?
Creditors: No.
Me: Even though this literally impacts what I can and can't borrow in the future and could affect my ability to get a loan or a mortgage?
Creditors: Yes.
Me: No clear information at all?
Creditors: No.
Me: So we just have to guess and hope for the best?
Creditors: Yes :)
Me: ...
Creditors: :)
Me: ...
Creditors: Would you like this credit limit increase?
Me: -_- Sure.